Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Due to Technocal Difficulties

In my never ending quest to get Ramblings to look the way I'd like it to, despite the fact that I don't know what that is, I'm trying new "stuff" again. So we'll see what the next few days does to the appearance of Ramblings. It may change radically or it may stay the same.

My problem is that half of what I do means exactly squat to me until I hit the "submit" button and then go see what I've done. Sometimes, to my absolute amazement something totally unexpected happens and I like it.

My header up there was one of those things. I found the picture (somewhere- don't ask, I couldn't tell you) and then worked for about an hour to get the wording to fit in the right spot and not get swallowed up by the trees. For the life of me I couldn't make that happen and I finally clicked on "Apply" when I got it to a point I could stand for a few days. When I clicked on "view blog" there it was - exactly the way I wanted it. How did that happen?

More often than not I detest the results. Take a look at this whole page for example. Go ahead and scroll all the way down to the bottom. (insert Final Jeopardy music here) All the way. Did you see that vast area of blankness? Of course you did, how can you miss it? I really hate that.(I also hate the fact that I've been trying to use music to underscore a point since last fall and I still haven't managed to do that even though others have tried to show me how.)

At first, I thought if I simply write longer blog posts the problem would take care of itself and I wouldn't have this long right hand side bar dangling off the bottom like Baja California. Well, that sure didn't work. All I got for that was wordy silly posts with a longer pigtail dangling off the right sidebar like Baja California!.

Then there are the add-ons. Everyday I see attractively laid out blogs that include buttons and widgets to take me to other interesting places. I would really like to include a few of those. I'd like to proudly proclaim my two or three affiliations and I'd love to add a button that would mean a few cents to feed hungry children and adults or provide a child with a book. But I can't. If I could even figure out how to add them, all they would do is extend Baja to somewhere in the Antarctic region!

Heck! even the ones I have on there now are not producing anything. We (meaning Geezerguy, Clancy, and myself) bought into this whole Ad Sense idea back in November. All three blogs are on one account which is supposed to produce a tidy sum for us. All our readers have to do is click on and read the ads. Yeah right! So far I have made exactly $5.99! They send you a check when you hit $100.00!

But I'm always up for a challenge. So today I added a thingamabob that will tell me who's looked at my blog. I am already having second thoughts and it's not even published yet. I may be setting myself up for a big disappointment if no one, in fact, is looking! I don't even know how it works! It's sort of the same thing as a counter which I rejected for the same reason but this one is supposed to get Ramblings out there to new readers on other blogs too. (Nuts! I just realized that means I have to add an avatar to the Blog catalog because no one clicks on those blank heads.)

The thing is, I do know what I need. I need a three column format which gives me space for all the doodads I want to decorate the blog . The problem is that I don't want to pay for one and most of the free ones look like they should be used by either some big corporation or a funeral parlor. The few that I might consider are full of code which I can't fathom at all. Is it really too much to ask for some wonderfully artistic ,creative person to come up with something pretty but not too pretty, feminine but not girlie, modern but not OMG! designs which are both free and easily understood, by someone who doesn't know html from HGTV??

I can hear my brother, Denis laughing at me all the way from San Jose. He is a superb Web Content Manager and Database Developer (among other techie titles) who labored patiently with me for weeks-nay months, to produce a Web site when we first began our storytelling back in 2003. He did it for me as a birthday gift and all I had to produce was the content and a few dollars to buy a domain. But once he had it up and looking wonderfully, I was too dense to learn how to actually do anything to it. Because of that, he was the one who had to take time from his busy work week to add a picture or change a date for us.

Denis and I both fell ill within a short time
of each other a few years ago and between us were out of action for several months. Denis is back in full swing and has not ceased his busy work schedule with his own company Triumph Research Group. Our Storytelling focus changed from the original plan and we rarely do school programs any more but I still direct people to Under The Story Tree when they want to see some of our history programs. I do point out that it's hopelessly out of date (and we disabled the contact page) but it helps to add to our credits a bit and gives you a chance to see us with a few less gray hairs in my case or shorter beard in Jim's.

By the way, it should also be noted that while I may be a techno peasant, Denis, the Geek, who stated "Content is King" has not posted a second blog after his big announcement 3 months ago so I don't feel so bad about my lack of bells and whistles. At least I have content; trivial, foolish, and mundane it may be but my friends and readers seem to like it! And I guess that makes me King...Queen... Empress? Yeah! Empress Yarntangler, that's me.

See ya down the road,
Empress Yarntangler

OMG!!!!!! Can you believe this?? I write this whole long silly post about how I never get things right. I make a BFHD (big fat hairy deal) about how my post is always too short and the side bar extends way beyond it and guess what? It doesn't happen! Don't ask me why? This is the very first time I didn't have a Baja effect on my blog!

Of all the stupid&^%$#@*(&!$!!!

Denis, Stop laughing! I really can hear you from here! And as for the four Cumberland boys...I am your mother - show a little respect or at least compassion!
Jim, turn around. Do you really want me to look at you like this all day?
Dad, never mind. If I can't figure it out there's no way I can explain it to you.


Anonymous said...

My dearest Empress Yarntangler,

As I sit here in front of my box of the world( aka computer)with my hair pasted to my head "processing"( color da hair day)I was lucky enough to check and catch your latest blog.

Under my breath in my own sense of goofy security( LD is behind me watching tv and cleaning the kitchen to prepare for din din)I am LMAO( aka laughing my ass off)! Not AT you but at how CUTE you are! You try so hard and one day ,most likely without noticing, YOU WILL SUCCEED and design the exact blog you want!

I am watching the time so I don't overprocess... As I was saying.. I will call you one day soon and we can work together on our boxes and I will do my best to help you. I think I found a site that you can make 3 column blogs AND, it might( can't be sure just yet) not be difficult for you or I to do. Don't hold me to the exact perfect solution but it should be a darn good try.

Almost time to rinse so I'll chat atcha later.

Hilly :-)

Geezerguy said...

OK, you can stop "the look" now. I think you did fine. Now all you have to do is get rid of the big blank space to the right of your text. (BTW, I still haven't figured out how to use italics or other tools in the comments, but I'm told it's possible.)

Word of the day...plarcopt: a red-furred creature that lives on the planet Copt. This is the female of the species. (The male is a plurrcopt, and it has blue hair.)

Old Newsie said...

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE me to explain to ou? I might have some tricks up my sleeve. But first, turn to the Rochesergeeek who is volunteering to promote you from Empress to Queen.

Old Newsie said...

Noticed you managed to reduce the font in your header to a better read, and that you managed to unscrew the heading on your profile,also. And in the prior comment that name is Rochestergeek
not what the computer made it. And do you really spell Technical with an o in it? OMG - proofreading again - I'm in the doghouse again I guess.

Yarntangler said...

No, Old Newsie you spell Techno-cal that way. It was a joke and referred to my techno peasant status.

And I have no idea what you are talking about I made no changes except to add the new widget.