Saturday, February 13, 2010
Stop Tieing Your Doctors Hands
Friday the 12th was not the most fun day of my life but it could have been one of the more important ones. At 6:30 AM, I reported to Tuscon Medical Center and shortly thereafter found myself on a table with a BP cuff on my left arm and an IV in my right arm.
No funny stuff here folks, and no fanciful descriptions either. In 10 seconds I had tied one on and was out like a light, blissfully unaware of most of the embarrassing portion of my long overdue Colonoscopy.
I promised Chica I wouldn't describe the procedure. An easy promise to keep since I was so out of it that by the time I came to, I didn't realize that my bottom was still exposed to one doctor-male, 2 techs-female, a nurse-male, and a student nurse also male. In fact, that only occurred to me a few minutes ago.
It took about 40 minutes. There was no pain. Because of the way I react to anesthesia, once I got home, I slept from mid morning until 4 o'clock, woke and had a small snack, and slept another two hours.
This is not to say the entire process was a snap. Uh uh. I actually had to begin on Wednesday with a 10 oz bottle of magnesium citrate, a foul fizzy stuff and a "low residue" diet. Thursday was miserable. They give you a bottle of dreadful tasting stuff which must be consumed 8 0z at a time, every 15 minutes until it's all gone. It's a very big bottle. Besides that, you are on a liquid diet and must consume an additional 80 ounces of clear fluids during the day. I do not recommend low sodium chicken broth,use the real stuff! And one piece of advice you must follow comes from Frank Kaiser's funny site, Suddenly Senior . He quotes one of his readers; "Never ever trust a fart!"
Luckily, I was able to spend the day and night at Chica's house to be a bit more comfortable and have a more accommodating plumbing arrangement than the motor home affords. But don't let that stop you. A couple of friends went through this same thing last year in their rigs and survived it equally well. All that's necessary is an empty black water tank, a ready supply of TP, and a few good DVDs, (preferably not mysteries you haven't seen before.)But this is the hardest part of the test. Once that's over, its pretty much a breeze (or a draft I suppose).
I'm here to tell you to stop putting it off and get it done. I've been urged to have one for years but managed to avoid it until now all because I thought it would be so humiliating. I am one of the lucky ones, nary a polyp was to be found. How much more humiliating it would have been to find I had colon cancer that might have been treated much earlier. I feel better tonight knowing I've gotten away with yet another procrastination. But now that it's done, I'm embarrassed that I didn't do it years ago. Now I'm good to go for another 5 years or so.
Uh...no pun intended.
See ya down the road,